Let The Love Start With You

I have been doing a lot of thinking about giving lately. As well, the girls and I have been working on various philanthropy projects this year. It has been rewarding to watch them turn their focus to others, and to be excited about it.

I was in church this morning and felt a real call to action, which I am about to share with you. Allow me to set the scene. Cornerstone Christian Church. Pastors in jeans. Four electric guitars, four vocalists, one keyboard, one drummer. Congregation is alive. I arrive. Deep breath, close eyes, I'm here, you're here... listening for your voice. Where two or more are gathered.

Pastor began a four week series called, Change My Christmas [dot] com. The sermon began with this. http://changemychristmas.com/ Please click this link and hit play when the video pops up. I saw this and was able to get behind the idea immediately. It had already been on my heart to do Christmas differently this year, I just wasn't sure what that was going to look like until today. Though I would have been tempted to be up at the crack of dawn, with a Starbucks in hand, ready to get my shop on this upcoming black Friday, I am now turning my focus elsewhere.

This is the video I really want you to see. Go back to the website listed above. Click on BE INVOLVED. Scroll down and watch the two and a half minute video called Love 146- The History. Love 146 is an organization that works toward the abolition of child sex slavery. I want you to see this video because I was moved by it. Because most of the time, I don't allow myself to think about it. And because now that I have, I want to advocate for these children.

Over the next two weeks, I will have the opportunity to hear Rob Morris, the founder of Love 146, as well as Christa Hayden from human rights agency, International Justice Mission, speak about this issue. I invite any of my New York readers to join me if you want to learn more about these organizations. For those of you outside of New York, I will give you a full report after I hear them speak.

Though this is not a cause I am going to forget about after Christmas, I will allow the Christmas season to kick off my call to act. I hereby give myself, and you, permission, are you ready...

To think of others needs and how you can help meet them
To have gratitude and express gratitude daily
To be creative in how you express that gratitude.. write, create, etc.
Scale back on gifts and consider where that money would be better spent

Rather than participating in the traditional Christmas shop-fest, I will be donating to Love 146 and IJM. Though you will not see the usual holiday spread from me this year, you will feel my love nonetheless.

How I Miss You

How I miss you J. Crew. With your beautiful cashmere cardigans, ruffled tops, fabulous beaded jewelry, and Italian style flats. I miss the way your clothes feel on my skin, I miss the way your sales person follows me around, offers me bottles of water, and gets a fitting room started for me. I miss your hair accessories that cost way too much, but last a lifetime. I miss your long winter coats that look fabulous in every color. Red, white, yellow, black, I want them all. I miss how the clothes are folded before they are wrapped carefully in tissue paper, and placed in a comfortable over the shoulder shopping bag. I miss that moment of glee I encounter as I unwrap these treasures and place them lovingly into my closet. How I miss you J. Crew.

How I miss you my hair stylist. Fabulous Courtney who can turn me into anyone I want to be. From brown to black to red to blonde, you have made all of my hair dreams come true. Katie Holmes, no problem, Anne Hathaway, okay, Cameron Diaz, you got it. Sitting in your chair, sipping coffee, and talking about life. Color, wash, cut, and blow dry, with the snip of your scissors and the spin of your chair, a transformation is made. I leave the salon a different person than I entered. I can take on any challenge, I can overcome any obstacle, I can demonstrate to the world that I can take a risk. Stunning. How I miss you my stylist.

How I miss you my jet set. You inspire me most. Whether it be Florida, Arizona, California. Italy, England, or France. I will speak your language, I will revel in your culture. I will own it, I will become it. The star of my film. Plane..train..car..ship.. I walk, I feel the sun, I talk to the people, I eat and drink, and think of you. Perhaps it is because I do not have a permanent home, that I feel most at home on the jet set. On the highest floor of any grand hotel, is where I belong, is where I belong. How I miss you my jet set.

How I miss you dear friends. So much, you cannot know. I am in my ashram, but wish you were here too. My memories drift back to you, even in my sleep. I am my happiest when you are near. Together on our mountain, at the beach, in the city, or our small town. You continue to follow me, but I have never let you go.

How I miss you warm sun. Shine upon me once more. Blue sky, intense heat, bronzed body, white whites. Active, happy, thrive, alive, I almost remember what you feel like. Come back to me sun. Or bring me back to you. I am ready for your touch again.

In Loco Parentis

I cannot believe that this will be my fourth fall in New York. For you new readers, I live at the school below, sharing the halls with 200 fabulous teenage girls. I am the governess to 17. Since the idea of boarding school may leave you curious, allow me to share some images and realities of life in our stone castle.

Girls are up and at em by 7. No uniforms, just a dress code. Breakfast in the dining hall, then off to morning reports. There they will sing their alma mater and get the announcements for the day. Classes resume until after 3, and then it is off to sports or dance. Following that, they will head to choir, drama, and orchestra. Then dinner, then study hall from 7:30-9:30. All the while, freshmen are clueless, sophomores are having a grand time, juniors are in AP hell, and seniors are completely preoccupied with getting into college. And not just any college. By 9:30, girls are either exhausted, or ready to party. That is where I come in.

In loco parentis is Latin for "in place of a parent." That is what I am. I provide, to the best of my ability: ground rules, guidance, emotional support, a listening ear, a snack, encouragement, discipline, and most importantly, a presence. I heard someone say the other day that 95% of being a parent is simply showing up. I agree with this.

The photos below do not capture the girls in the intensity of their day. Instead they give you an idea of what life is like after the busy day. I warn you... you may want my job after viewing these photos. Enjoy.

Love,
The Governess


Our stone castle


Moi


Snack at Tuesday night tea

A game of "ha ha" at Tuesday night tea.

Dance party after study hall. Music: GLEE's Don't Stop Believin'

Yes, they got me to jump on the bed

Mattress Surfing, a sure way to relieve stress

Spotted: one governess, mattress surfing

FAME! I'm gonna live forever...

I'm sorry to say that this film was a little more lame than Fame. I know that you are really surprised by this. Being a former ballerina, I thought for sure it would at least appeal to dancers. I strolled into the theatre last night, on a rainy, misty, New York evening, looking ballerina-esque even in my normal clothes. I looked around to see that there were four others in the theatre besides me. That should've been my first indication. Anyway, to sum up the FAME experience, I will describe it like this. The acting in this film is as bad as it was in Center Stage, circa 1999. With a little High School Musical thrown in for good measure.

However, what has come from my brush with FAME, is that I am now back in the dance studio. I went over the other day, just to reacquaint myself with the barre, and today I start back in ballet class. I still feel at home in the dance studio, which is how I know I belong in one. I am fortunate enough to have the biggest, brightest studio imaginable to use any time.

I cannot, in good conscience, recommend that you see this film. But I do recommend you download Naturi Naughton's rendition of "FAME" and play it in the morning when you get out of bed. The song is hot, and what a way to start your day.

Baby look at me
And tell me what you see
You aint seen the best of me yet
Give me time I'll make you forget the rest

x.

Welcome President Obama!

Monday was an incredible day in Troy, New York. This day, we would line the streets to welcome the President of the United States. That is correct--President Obama actually came to my little town of Troy and spoke at Hudson Valley Community College. For my Modesto crew-- that would be like Obama showing up at MJC to give a talk. The energy in this town was amazing, and everyone was abuzz. The President spoke on clean energy, health care, education, and basic research. For more on President Obama's speech, click here http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5hD03sMpMBLESf1hOl78LOnLV63xQD9ARR6082 Moreover, click on the photo to see it enlarged. You can actually see him in the car! I wish I could take credit for snapping this shot, but it was taken by the woman standing next to me.

After welcoming President Obama to my town and watchng him that night on Letterman (he was very funny, by the way) I felt hugely patriotic. And I liked it. I don't think we take enough time to be patriotic in this country. I sent President Obama a tweet that evening to thank him for his visit. Is it poor form to tweet the President?

The Heck With Sugar And Spice.

It is a crisp, fall, New England day. There are first day of school butterflies in my stomach. I sit up in bed, and see the chapel out my third story window. In just a couple of hours, Opening Convocation will take place there. I love this tradition. I take pride in being a part of this tradition.

Students file into the chapel with beautiful stained glass windows. Above the pulpit reads, Worship The Lord In The Beauty Of Holiness. Emma Willard is not affiliated with any religion, but nonetheless this statement is etched front and center in our chapel. I enjoy reading it and after I do, I take in a long, deep breath. I feel calm in this chapel.

I line up with my faculty colleagues in order of the length of time we have been at Emma. As it is now my fourth year, I am moving up, up, up in line. I love this. The line is led by Marilyn Hunter, my Italian teacher, and "the lady in the red hat." The faculty member who has been at Emma the longest has the honor of marching first, and wearing the red hat. And may I just say, Signora does rock this hat.

The organ plays and we march in and take our seats at the front of the chapel. By next year, I will be in row 2. Hollaaaaa... ;-) And when I get my Masters, you will really see my peacock feathers poofed, because with every degree one earns, you get an even more beautiful robe. We all know this would be reason enough for me to get busy on the Masters.

Once we are seated, our esteemed Head of School, will stand at the pulpit and deliver a knock out speech to inspire us all to work toward a year of excellence. Trudy's speeches always kill. The woman is such an example to me in her ability to bring down the house with her words. I will now recount the parts of Trudy's speech that most stood out to me, so that you too may take it in for consideration:

Set meaningful goals. Brassy, risky, nervy, adventurous, daring, courageous goals. What you can imagine is far more important that what you know. The secret to a successful commitment is to be able to see clearly the outcome in your mind, to visualize what it will look like when you have achieved the goal. See yourself winning the award, writing the book, being interviewed by the press--whatever it takes to get you jazzed.

Have the courage of your convictions. There is no such thing as a half-hearted commitment. Firmly announce your plans. When it comes to commitment--you are either in or you are out. Just do what you can, with what you have, where you are.

Take initiative. You need a plan, one with tiny baby steps to get you started. You need gumption--some spunk and guts.

Keep going. Bethany Hamilton, the American surfing prodigy who lost her leg in a vicious shark attack in 2003, reminds us: "Courage, sacrifice, determination, commitment, toughness, heart, talent, guts. That's what little girls are made of; the heck with sugar and spice."

Trudy concludes with the following: Frustration is an inevitable part of every worthy enterprise. You will have your share of setbacks. Just apply what you have learned to make each effort a better, more informed one. The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won't. It is whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere.

That said, let me now firmly announce my plans to you. I am going to research, select, apply to, and be accepted into a Masters program this year. I am going to read, write, and devote myself to the written word this year-- in English and Italian. And-- I am going to look closely at different areas of my life (physical, spiritual, emotional, financial, etc.) and make this my best year yet of reaching my goals in each area. Operation A-game is on.

Who is going to join me? Firmly announce your plans--I want to hear them.

Love.. from New York.

I guarantee the first female president will be an Emma girl.

It has been a busy weekend of training student leaders! My colleague Gemma and I took a group of 19 individuals and turned them into a team. Following that, we taught them how to lead their peers. Training topics included: team building, effective listening, first impressions, confidentiality, creativity, diversity, tolerance, educating peers, facilitating a group, homesickness, crisis intervention, self-care, and most importantly... find out her story. So vital when working with anyone--knowing where they come from and what experiences have shaped them. Last week, my department gathered, and we were asked to share our "cultural story." It was an intense topic for many of us, and so important to share at the same time. I challenge each of you to ask someone you care about his or her cultural story.

I continue to be impressed by the crowd I roll with here. These women are bold, curious, compassionate, creative, seekers. It is fun to share a castle with them.

I am about to fall into bed, but before I do, I want to share a video that you will love. It will remind you that no matter our cultural story, we are all connected.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlfKdbWwruY

Goodnight.. x

Summer Gratitude

(Photo: Charlie)

With the echo of 200 girls back inside of ye gray walls, my summer has officially come to a close. It was a brilliant summer, in so many ways. I thought a good way to kick off this Sunday would be to reflect upon that which I have been grateful for this summer. Things I am grateful for/Summer Bests. Here is my list, in order of my arrival to your town:

Helping my grammy find her cat, who was not lost, just hiding.

Charming the guy at the Franchise Tax Board in order to get him to do his job just a little more efficiently. Again, on grammy's behalf.

Spending time with my parents and cousins. Brief, but good.

Playing Rock Band for the first time, with good friends, in my hometown. I rocked.

A four hour talk with my writing professor, Rofiah. Such a good talk.

Sitting inside of First Baptist Church.

My one day at the beach, flying in and out before midnight, leaving behind a glass slipper.

Facing my fears in Tucson, with protectors near and far.

Coffee, Buddhist talk, and walking the desert in Tucson.

Sitting atop a mountain, talking to God.

Talking with my married friends about marriage.

Meeting some of their little ones for the first time.

Learning about Frim Fram Sauce, and life, from my stylish and wise mentor.

Spending two gorgeous weeks with Charlie, aka: kissyboy, aka: west highland terrier.

Slowing down in Lee, MA. Making friends with the seniors.

Singing loudly to Eric Carmen's "Make Me Lose Control" w/Jen E. while driving around Mass. Love that the song is about a Jennifer. And the a cappella part is hot.

Writing, readng, blogging, tweeting.

Writer within found hiding out in Massachusetts.

Talking about deepest fears and greatest hopes while on a 27 hour road trip to Florida with Gemma and Stacey.

Realizing that a Holiday Inn Express parking lot is no place to sleep on the road.

Observing fathers and daughters at Disney World. Melt.

Screaming my head off on the Tower of Terror.

WISHES! (in unison with Gemma and Stacey).

Being re-united w/Calvin and Chris (age 3) after a summer apart. "NANNNNNNNNNNY..." followed by love fest.

"I love you more than the whole world." -Chris. "I wish I could keep you." - Calvin.

Transatlantic emails with my big sis.

Late night dinners with my little sis.

Proudly sending said little sis off for her first year of college. Yesterday.

Thank you to all who were guest-stars on my summer love tour. I wish I could hit rewind and do it again.

Smacked Down

I had a Jo March moment the other night. Remember when Professor Bhaer says to her, "You must write from life, from the depths of your soul. There is nothing in this of the woman I am privileged to know. There is more to you than this... if you have the courage to write it."

One of my most trusted readers challenged the substance of my last article. Reminding me that readers have a low tolerance for the superficial, and to keep it real. If you understood how much I admire this friend of mine, you would know what a blow this was to read. Our email exchange went back and forth late into the night.

The next day found me at our local library with my three year old charge, Christopher. Not to be confused with my other three year old charge, Calvin. After story hour, which included me reading the brilliant Fox in Socks (a very funny experience as Dr. Seuss is crazyyy), I ended up with my favorite book in hand. Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love. I own the book, of course, but I decided, on this rainy afternoon, that I wanted the audio version. I wanted the experience of hearing Elizabeth Gilbert read it to me.

With the feedback from my friend still on my mind, I moved forward with my evening. This included dinner with another good friend, listening to Elizabeth Gilbert read as I drove to and from, and coming home to a quiet apartment. Without planning to, I spent the remainder of the evening with Elizabeth Gilbert. In particular, I stumbled upon a video of her giving a talk to a bunch of writers. She talks about her “freakish success” with Eat, Pray, Love and her fear that her greatest accomplishment may be behind her. She is funny, and honest, and her words picked me up after the smack down. I hope you will take the time to watch this video—it is amazing. http://blog.beliefnet.com/freshliving/2009/08/elizabeth-gilbert-eats-prays-marries-and-writes-a-new-book.html

The most powerful part of her talk for me, was this: (this first part is paraphrased)

Ole—there it is, a glimpse of god. Think of people chanting this at the end of a bull fight, to celebrate the great accomplishment of the bull fighter.

What is he then supposed to do with the rest of his life?

(this is straight from Elizabeth’s talk)

“But maybe it doesn’t have to be full of anguish if you never happened to believe in the first place that the most extraordinary aspects of your being came from you. But maybe if you just believed that they were on loan to you from some unimaginable source for some exquisite portion of your life… to be passed along. Don’t be afraid, don’t be daunted, just do your job. Continue to show up for your piece of it, whatever that might be. If your job is to dance, do your dance. And if the divine cockeyed genius assigned to your case decides to let some sort of wonderment be glimpsed for just one moment from your efforts, then ‘ole!’ And if not, do your dance anyhow, and ‘ole!’ to you nonetheless. Ole to you nonetheless just for having the sheer human love and stubbornness to keep showing up.”

In what felt like a moment, I realized three hours had passed. Three hours reading, listening, and writing. After my time with Elizabeth, here are the reflections that followed:

I am a writer.
Will I have the courage to be a writer?
Will I share with you my pursuit of all things literary?
Will I show you how much substance I have?
Will my style come forth in this writing?
Will my pieces be varied?
Will you see my love of the written word?
Will you know who I am by reading my work?
Will I surprise you?

YES. So get ready.

Going back to Jo March… she was devastated when her dear Professor Bhaer told her that she had more substance than that which she had shown in her earlier writing. She cried about it and then she picked herself up and produced the novel that was always inside of her, just waiting to be written. Any Little Women fans out there?

So my advice to all of you, from a very rainy New York, is this. Keep showing up. Because I’m going to.

Love to my readers. And to my friend for her thoughtful feedback.

Sex and the City 2 Audition!

Just like any actress/model would, I got out of bed at 5:15 AM to prepare for the day ahead. Becca and I would soon be off to our New York audition for a role in the upcoming film, Sex and the City 2. The part(s) we were auditioning for: fashion model, celebrity type, or upscale socialite. To get myself ready, I tweeted with Tyra, had a shower, and practiced my model walk. Stomping an imaginary runway if you will. My background music.. "Walk This Way."

As any model would, I went to a different location for hair, makeup, and wardrobe. I arrived at Becca's house and got ready there. She outfitted me in a cream colored Grecian style dress, that ties over one shoulder, with a black wrap around belt. Becca and I did our hair and makeup together in her bathroom, and I realized how much fun it is to share the mirror with someone. Becca is so much my little sis, and that felt like a very sisterly thing to do, sharing the mirror.

Becca and I arrived in Manhattan and headed straight for the Metropolitan Pavilion, which is where the casting call was happening. As we approached 18th Street, we were not surprised to see thousands of people lining the block. It was an amazing scene. There were those auditioning for the film (model, socialite, celeb, wannabe carrie bradshaw, fabulous looking gay guys, urban club goers, etc.) and then there were people lining the block just to watch this madness. Construction workers, fire men, photographers, and best of all... camera crews! I guess this would be a good time to tell you that Becca and I made it on to Access Hollywood! Oh yes... how right is that... Becca and I end up on the same celebrity news page as Katie Holmes, Sarah Jessica, and all of the other It girls. It is sooooo right! One trip to New York, and I am already sharing a screen with Sarah Jessica! Are you ready to watch? Ok, look for us after the reporter says, "thousands of ladies and gents in their city chic best..." I am on the left, and Becca is beside me. Click the link to view video. http://www.accesshollywood.com/sex-and-the-city

It was an interesting dynamic between all who were there. On the one hand, we all showed up, head shot in hand, competing in dress, attitude, and style. On the other hand, there was a strange camaraderie between us. Thousands of people, completely different from one another, gathering in one place to pay homage to Carrie Bradshaw. We all wanted to be part of it, part of the next (and potentially last) movie made with Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha, and Miranda. And Mr. Big-- let's just be honest. No sign of him at the audition. I kept an eye out for his town car.

After a long wait outside and in... we at last made it to the casting agents. There were four, and four photographers. Becca pulled us over to line # 2 as she said that is her lucky number. Becca went first, then me. I handed over my details and head shot, took my place on the "X" and got ready to start posing. "click, flash, picture perfect beautiful..." Hands on hips, shoulders in, good side toward the camera, ok, I'm ready. "Can you please face the camera," the photographer says unamused by the posing knowledge I've received from watching years of America's Next Top Model. I face the camera, give my best model pout, and the bulb flashes. "Next," she says.

Just one photo? After all that time... you are not even going to let me stomp a runway or anything..?! Not even 20 frames, or ten, or even five? Just one. Hope it was fierce. Becca and I agreed that why on earth would they need more than one photo of either of us. We totally worked it out, and one will be all that is needed. "Worked it out" is model speak for aced it, in the bag, totally got it.

If we are cast in the film, we will receive a call just a few days before they shoot our scene. So we wont know for a while what the outcome will be. I expect we should both be cast as we had some serious style going on. No matter the outcome, we will always be a part of this movie because we came to New York, joined the thousands, and went for it. That alone makes us part of history.

A Life Of Style And Purpose

When I think of my life within the context of style and purpose, suddenly it all makes sense. The woman I am. One who possesses an eye for beauty and an attention to detail. One who is both a seeker and a mentor. A fervent observer and steadfast communicator. A woman of print for sure. Upon careful examination, I realize that it is my requisite for style and purpose that has driven my life, and will continue to do so.

I have given a great deal of thought lately to my personal and professional ambitions. Having said that, the one thing I know more than anything else, is that I am a writer. I have spent much of my summer immersed in the written word. Reading the news, researching my favorite authors, and those with a similar writing voice. Following the blogs of great writers and starting my own. I have also joined the Twitterverse and am now able to connect with authors, editors, publishers, and literary agents via one simple tweet.

This week I had a meeting with author Liz Funk, who wrote, Supergirls Speak Out: Inside the Secret Crisis of Overachieving Girls. She talked with me about her inspiration for the book, what her readers get to learn about her through her work, the process of freelance writing as well as getting an agent and a book deal. Liz provided me with a wealth of information, and the most important piece I took away was this: write what you know.

That is just what I am going to do. For the next year, I am going to chronicle my experiences having to do with A Life Of Style And Purpose, and invite you follow me as I do it. I will show you every success, every failure, every crazy idea I intend to chase for a story. And when I am finished, I am going turn this blog into a best seller. Get ready world--you will be seeing my name in print.

My first assignment, which can be filed under style rather than purpose, will be the following:

An audition this Tuesday for a part in the upcoming film, Sex And The City 2. There is an open casting call in New York City, and I am going to audition for the role of: fashion model, celebrity type, or upscale socialite. You will not want to miss next week's blog where I give you a detailed account of this experience. How I prepared, who was there, and what everyone was wearing. The casting notice specifically requests that all who attend should show up looking "sex and the city fabulous." This open audition has been publicized in over 90 online articles in two days. Therefore, one can expect a crowd that is going to rival American Idol and Top Model auditions combined. And I will be there, in the thick of it, with my partner in crime and fellow fashionista Rebecca Endryck, to observe all of the madness. Log on to http://www.alifeofstyleandpurpose.blogspot.com/ next week to read my full account of what it is like to be one audition away from a role in the hottest movie on the planet.