Smacked Down

I had a Jo March moment the other night. Remember when Professor Bhaer says to her, "You must write from life, from the depths of your soul. There is nothing in this of the woman I am privileged to know. There is more to you than this... if you have the courage to write it."

One of my most trusted readers challenged the substance of my last article. Reminding me that readers have a low tolerance for the superficial, and to keep it real. If you understood how much I admire this friend of mine, you would know what a blow this was to read. Our email exchange went back and forth late into the night.

The next day found me at our local library with my three year old charge, Christopher. Not to be confused with my other three year old charge, Calvin. After story hour, which included me reading the brilliant Fox in Socks (a very funny experience as Dr. Seuss is crazyyy), I ended up with my favorite book in hand. Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love. I own the book, of course, but I decided, on this rainy afternoon, that I wanted the audio version. I wanted the experience of hearing Elizabeth Gilbert read it to me.

With the feedback from my friend still on my mind, I moved forward with my evening. This included dinner with another good friend, listening to Elizabeth Gilbert read as I drove to and from, and coming home to a quiet apartment. Without planning to, I spent the remainder of the evening with Elizabeth Gilbert. In particular, I stumbled upon a video of her giving a talk to a bunch of writers. She talks about her “freakish success” with Eat, Pray, Love and her fear that her greatest accomplishment may be behind her. She is funny, and honest, and her words picked me up after the smack down. I hope you will take the time to watch this video—it is amazing. http://blog.beliefnet.com/freshliving/2009/08/elizabeth-gilbert-eats-prays-marries-and-writes-a-new-book.html

The most powerful part of her talk for me, was this: (this first part is paraphrased)

Ole—there it is, a glimpse of god. Think of people chanting this at the end of a bull fight, to celebrate the great accomplishment of the bull fighter.

What is he then supposed to do with the rest of his life?

(this is straight from Elizabeth’s talk)

“But maybe it doesn’t have to be full of anguish if you never happened to believe in the first place that the most extraordinary aspects of your being came from you. But maybe if you just believed that they were on loan to you from some unimaginable source for some exquisite portion of your life… to be passed along. Don’t be afraid, don’t be daunted, just do your job. Continue to show up for your piece of it, whatever that might be. If your job is to dance, do your dance. And if the divine cockeyed genius assigned to your case decides to let some sort of wonderment be glimpsed for just one moment from your efforts, then ‘ole!’ And if not, do your dance anyhow, and ‘ole!’ to you nonetheless. Ole to you nonetheless just for having the sheer human love and stubbornness to keep showing up.”

In what felt like a moment, I realized three hours had passed. Three hours reading, listening, and writing. After my time with Elizabeth, here are the reflections that followed:

I am a writer.
Will I have the courage to be a writer?
Will I share with you my pursuit of all things literary?
Will I show you how much substance I have?
Will my style come forth in this writing?
Will my pieces be varied?
Will you see my love of the written word?
Will you know who I am by reading my work?
Will I surprise you?

YES. So get ready.

Going back to Jo March… she was devastated when her dear Professor Bhaer told her that she had more substance than that which she had shown in her earlier writing. She cried about it and then she picked herself up and produced the novel that was always inside of her, just waiting to be written. Any Little Women fans out there?

So my advice to all of you, from a very rainy New York, is this. Keep showing up. Because I’m going to.

Love to my readers. And to my friend for her thoughtful feedback.